Letting Go

By: Deshawn Crenshaw #270497

Why is letting go of the past hard to do?

PRIDE, mixed with anger at self! I sung a selfish tune, on and off for the last 3 and a half years. I Personalized, Overgeneralized, and Magnified every voice and every thought, instead of God’s. Friends, I thought that I would share the THOUGHTS from an article that I read.

Dissociation is the essence of trauma. The overwhelming experience is split off and fragmented, so that the emotions, sounds, images, thoughts, and physical sensations related to the trauma take on a life of their own.

The sensory fragments of memory intrude into the present, where they are literally relived. As long as the trauma is not resolved, the stress hormones that the body secretes to protect itself keep circulating, and the defensive movements and emotional responses keep getting replayed. They have no idea why they respond to some minor irritation as if they were about to be annihilated.

Flashbacks and reliving are in some ways worse than the trauma itself. A traumatic event has a beginning and an end—at some point it is over. But for people with PTSD a flashback can occur at any time, whether they are awake or asleep. There is no way of knowing when it’s going to occur again or how long it will last. People who suffer from flashbacks often organize their lives around trying to protect against them.

They may compulsively go to the gym to pump iron but finding that they are never strong enough, numb themselves with drugs, or try to cultivate an illusory sense of control in highly dangerous situations, such as: bungee jumping, or racing bikes. Constantly fighting unseen dangers is exhausting and leaves them fatigued, depressed, and weary.

If the elements of the trauma are replayed again and again, the accompanying stress hormones engrave those memories ever more deeply in the mind. Ordinary, day to day events become less and less compelling. Not being able to deeply take in what is going on around them makes it impossible to feel fully alive. It becomes harder to feel the joys and aggravations of ordinary life, harder to concentrate on the task at hand. Not being fully alive in the present keeps them more firmly imprisoned in the past.

We have all been through enough after 2020. Please take care of your mental health and the mental health of Family and Friends.

Contact info: Find me on under; Deshawn Crenshaw #270497
I am located at the Muskegon Correctional Facility here in Michigan.

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