My Voice

My Voice- Titu$ Bank$

I was born May the 20th,1978. My mother was only seventeen years old when she had me. During that time, my nineteen-year-old father elected to be with his parents and siblings rather than the mother of his child and newborn son. My mother and I share a very special relationship, I am her firstborn and only son. She told me when I was about three, she knew I was going to be a handful, because I always wanted things my way no matter what.

In the early eighties, my mother and I stayed in a one-bedroom apartment on the east side of Detroit. A few days before my third birthday, my mother purchased me a big wheel. This particular day she was tired and decided to take a nap, but I wanted to go outside and play. When my mother finally awakens from her nap I was nowhere to be found. The big wheel was also missing and the apartment door was wide open.

She started to panic and yell my name, a feeling of desperation began to set in. Still to this day, she does not know how I got that big wheel down those flight of stairs.No one was there to assist my mother in the search to find me or comforted my mother in her time of need. How could a three-year-old vanish without a trace?
Sad thoughts began to overwhelm my mother, as she desperately made her way around the block from our apartment.

Suddenly, she noticed from afar a white woman standing next to a white child, and little ole me riding my big wheel two blocks from our apartment. The woman told my mother that I just appeared out of nowhere and started to play with her son, so she decided to watch after me until someone came to claim me. After that incident, my mother keeps a close eye on me.

A few years later, I started school and was kicked out of kindergarten for fighting. The misfortune of not having both parents in the household played a part in me being rebellious, developing bad behaviours, and rejecting authority figures. As a child, I was told by my elementary teachers that I would end up either dead or in jail. By the age of eleven, I had attended several schools seven to be exact and I had been suspended over thirty times for various discipline reasons mainly fighting. Looking back I guess I wanted more attention from my mother, who at the time had a life in my boyfriend.

My father was a weekend and holiday parent. The lack of my Father not being present in the household created an imbalance and my mother appeared, as a tyrant. It was either her way or the highway. I had dreams of becoming a professional athlete, but that dream was ultimately whipped away by my mother and her final decision not allowing me to continue to play football.

Growing up I never came across a man that I wanted to be like(in person). I always have seen men that I wanted to be better than. I admired sports figures, movie stars, music entertainers to inspire and build certain characteristics in me. I never had the proper role models, mentors, or male figures in my life to teach me how to be a good man. I was influenced by a lot of uneducated individuals that informed me with a lot of bad information.

By the time I made it to high school, the streets were calling me and I was influenced by the hustle. The money, fast cars, woman, and the hustlers’ lifestyle. I aspired to be a thug and represented it to the fullest from the cloths to the braids, tattoos, and lingo. Eventually, I dropped out and began to sell drugs. Soon after,
my mother had enough and kicked me out of her house. At that moment in time, I felt a sense of freedom and independence, as I ran the streets with the wolves.

I invested my time and loyalty into the wrong people and things, but I learned a lot being in the streets. I saw how unfair life could be, so I had to be strong there was no time to be weak. At sixteen, I had to grow up fast. I was given many assignments running my own house and taking trips out of town. Finally, I realized that I was being used and taken advantage of by the people, who I trusted and thought had a love for me. I eventually set out on my own applying the lessons I learned and went into business for myself, which would turn out to be another bad decision.

I caught my first case three years later at nineteen and my mother sacrificed so much for me, she emptied her entire bank account for me covering all of my legal fees. I eventually received probation, but I still did not learn my lesson. My girlfriend at the time told me she was pregnant and that was an eye-opener for me to change. Unfortunately, she ended up getting an abortion and that crushed my world, so we decided to break up. That’s when I met my son mother and we hit it off. Two years later I caught this case that landed me in prison and I missed out on the birth of my son, who I have watched grow up in prison. However, our relationship is very special and he is my greatest accomplishment.

“My pride was leading me through life in a reckless manner. What I lack in experience, I made up with arrogance, and that was foolish in my youth”(ANONYMOUS).

In my past, I was lost and hopeless on a path of destruction. In this present time, I realize my worth and understand that my life and talent is a gift that can and will inspire hope to the hopeless and unfocused. My future is yet to be determined, but I am taking the necessary steps to shape the landscape for the future I desire and that is being better; a better father, a better son, a better brother, a better uncle, a better friend, and a better man. I aspire to be a Bestselling author, a successful entrepreneur, and mogul. I am working on leaving a legacy that my son can be proud of as well as benefit from.

I want people to understand, experience, and get to know the man that I have become.
REDEMPTION, REBUILDING, RESTORING, REWRITING, REWARDING AND REMINDING society that I can change and become REHABILITATED by REESTABLISHING myself back into society with the proper ASSISTANCE and RESOURCES provided along this journey.


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